Mr. Trumpenstein Returns to Washington

Part 2- This time it's personal

As I’ve said many times, when Donald Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016, I stopped making any more political predictions. I would have bet every penny of my modest net worth that the Queen of the Swamp would be rewarded for her years of loyal criminal service. A lifetime achievement if ever there was one.

The photo above reveals a smiling Melania Trump. We’ve been told that she is unhappy with her energetic but elderly husband. Persistent rumors of divorce. Maybe she misses being First Lady, even with all the unfairly negative press. Barron Trump is shown towering over his 6 foot 3 inch father. He is almost certainly taller than his last reported height of 6 foot 7. Maybe he can play in the NBA. If LeBron James can force the league to play his eminently unqualified son, why not Trump? Barron’s a lot taller than Bronny James, and may well be a better basketball player. But he is White. Trump is possibly the first U.S. president who actually looks better eight years after he first took office. The office is known to rapidly age its occupants. But not Trumpenstein. He’s lost weight, and still has that orange glow. His hair has changed in some indeterminate way, but seems to look a little more natural. He looks fit for the job.

I expected a close race. Nip and tuck. Down to the wire. Fantastic finish. And lots of controversy. I thought that, regardless of what happened, millions of Americans would be outraged and distrust the results. There were many early indications that 2024 would just as openly rigged as 2020 was. I saw lots of videos of citizens reporting on the shenanigans they’d witnessed. One guy said they made him vote from his car, brought the machine out to him, and pushed the buttons for him. Democracy in action. There were inexplicable power outages, including at least one scheduled power outage. At a polling place. On Election Day. As always, the marvelous electronic voting machines were breaking down. The clowns in charge of the polling places somehow ran out of basic supplies. One judge-never identified, and certain never to be reprimanded- didn’t show up as scheduled to one polling place, and because of this untold numbers of people were forced to wait hours before rocking the vote.

With all the hints from the likes of The New York Times, which informed us that taking days or even weeks to count the votes was not an indication of fraud, I expected it to be days before we found out which candidate had been installed. I waited for the counting to stop, as it did in 2020, for no logical reason. As a certified oldster, I’ve been around for a lot of elections. Except for 2000, where the delay involved a dispute in one Florida county, Americans have always known who the next president will be either late on election night, or by the next morning at worst. So they really fooled me. Trump dominated the vote almost everywhere. Even where he lost, his totals were higher than they were in 2020 (and 2016). And he even won the popular vote, the first Republican to do so since 1988. I didn’t think it was possible for any Republican to win the popular vote in the diverse and crumbling America 2.0.

So I prepared for some must see TV. I figured that there would be lots of screaming, weeping and gnashing of teeth. Perhaps an on-air suicide or homicide. Rachel Maddow? Joy Reid? The lovely ladies on The View? There had to be a lot of entertainment there. But instead, the response was shockingly muted. I think the breadth of Trump’s genuine landslide just knocked the wind out of them. They all appeared to be in shock, as if they’d received definitive proof that they would one day be judged by the Almighty they don’t believe in. I didn’t want somber. I wanted insane outrage. Pussy hat/transgender level madness. But I just haven’t seen it. Sunny Hostin tried her best, attributing the results to White America, and now Black and Hispanic men, not wanting a Woman of Color to lead them. But it wasn’t convincing. Her heart wasn’t in it. She’s played the race card louder and more irrationally many times before.

On Tik Tok, things were far more entertaining. A prevailing theme from young deranged White women was that Trump’s victory somehow triggered a general sex strike. No copulation for you! A few bitterly claimed that if men thought this meant that they would now want to get married and have babies, they were sorely mistaken. We’ll show you, Trump! Just try to make us have children! I’m sure this sex strike doesn’t apply to all the other invented “genders.” Just “transition” and you can have some kind of sex. With someone. It just won’t result in any pregnancy. Somehow, I don’t see all this resulting in a new day for Incels. I think you’ll be seeing more and more young men “going their own way.” Too many young women have lost their minds. Even if they’re not overweight, tattooed, or green haired, they can be dangerous. Remember, tigers are beautiful creatures. Just don’t sleep with them.

Since all the indications were there that the same chicanery we saw in 2020 was being planned again, only for Trump instead to win a resounding victory, what does this mean? Did Lara Trump really make that big a difference? Republicans claimed that a lot of money was spent on preventing the same kinds of fraud which took place in 2020. I’m never one to accept pat, mainstream explanations, but perhaps there is something to that. Alex Jones claimed that they stopped potential fraud in many places. This assumes, of course, that the elite wanted to stop Trump. And failed. If the elite failed, this was the first time in history that they have. Trump still goes on trial again very soon. Or sentencing. Or something. I just don’t pay much attention to the ridiculous lawfare against him. So it’s still possible that my facetious prediction about him serving as president from Ryker’s Island could come true. Live from Cell Block D!

However you look at it, the math on the number of votes just doesn’t add up. They had us going early on, when counties in Michigan and Pennsylvania featured more votes cast than registered voters. This particular mathematical impossibility was first born during the wonderful Obama years. We are told that both Harris and Trump received fewer votes than Biden and Trump did in 2020. So you had a “record” turnout, but fewer voters. Common Core math. Population increase. Untold numbers of illegals voting. And yet the number of votes went down. It’s a “democracy” thing, you wouldn’t understand. As a mere community college dropout, it’s all beyond my pay grade. I’ll leave it to the “experts” and “fact checkers” to explain. Not that they ever will. Just click your heels three times and display your “I Voted” sticker.

There have been a few reluctant admissions from some on the Left that perhaps pushing the “Woke” envelope so hard wasn’t such a brilliant political strategy. No matter how many vapid celebrities endorse it, you’re never going to get millions of Americans to accept the LGBTQ+ agenda. They know men can’t have babies, and that biological women should have babies. Propaganda otherwise is contrary to human nature. So the millions of unhappy “Woke” fanatics, stricken with severe TDS, are bound to become even unhappier. More committed to “reproductive rights,” which essentially means the right to abortion as birth control. This is the most important issue to unknown numbers of women who are too old to have another chance at abortion. This issue may finish off sexual relations between young male and female cisgenders, if the response from Tik Tok is any indication. At least for Whites.

When Trump was shot at in Butler, Pennsylvania, if was shot at, and then allegedly the victim of yet another aborted assassination attempt, it looked as if perhaps they were setting the stage for Trumpenstein Part 2. But then they threw us a curve ball, by having him supposedly fall in their unreliable polls. The iconic Iwo Jima photo didn’t increase his support? The media droned on incessantly about how his campaign was in disarray. He was supposedly entering the Biden dementia zone. He talked about Arnold Palmer’s penis for no discernable reason. And then, in a video clip taken out of context, appeared to simulate oral sex onstage. He was actually complaining about his microphone, if you haven’t seen the uncut video. Still a ridiculous gesture, and probably meant as a jab at Countess Cackula’s rise from obscurity. And Harris, of course, was undeniably one of the worst political candidates of all time.

So what are we to think of all this? This totally unanticipated Trump landslide? Did he really make so much progress in attracting Black male and Hispanic male voters? Sure, some of them might have related to his famous mug shot, but was it the sanitation worker outfit that put him over? However you look at Trump, that was a brilliant political move. Joe Biden calls his supporters “garbage,” and Trumpenstein rides in a trash truck, and then wears their uniform on stage at a rally. I’m sure that alone caused at least some sanitation workers to vote for him. Back in the day, when I was a lowly Senior Material Handler at a hospital, I might have considered voting for a candidate that donned the blue uniform of the Material Handling department. And say what you want, but Trump displayed extraordinary energy and stamina for a 78 year old. By contrast, Countess Cackula was listless and comparatively inactive.

That’s the thing about Trumpenstein. If he’s an actor, as I suggest that he is, then he’s really committed to the role. He’s a new kind of method actor. Dedicated to his craft. Does all his own stunts. Maybe he even asks “What’s my motivation?” But you can’t fake vitality, and this guy has more spring in his step than almost anyone else his age that I’ve ever seen. If we believe the narrative, he’s managed to be the picture of health, despite the worst diet imaginable, built around McDonald’s, and an incomprehensible twelve Diet Cokes per day. Maybe they’ve given him the Henry Kissinger style secret life extension technology. No other explanation seems possible. And he seems to still be sexually active, too, an impressive feat at his age. That is, if you believe the rumors that he’s having an affair with young Laura Loomer. Or is Larry Loomer? Either way, that’s pretty remarkable.

Trumpenstein closed out his third presidential campaign with a flurry of new, revolutionary promises. First, he proposed to end taxes on tips. And overtime. And the double tax on Social Security. Then he went beyond that and said maybe we should end the income tax itself. After all, the country managed without one until 1913, and the passage of the diabolical Federal Reserve Act. He talked about financing government with tariffs, which is what they did pre-1913. And that would have the added bonus of perhaps restoring American industry. He already talked about creating a commission to investigate political assassinations, as a tip of the MAGA hat to his new good friend Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Then RFK, Jr. started making the promises. He said Trump would remove fluoride from the water supply. Wow- that’s Conspiracy 101. And abolish a bunch of agencies associated with the FDA.

Others have suggested that he may create a Department of Declassification. Sounds good to me. I think there are still classified files from World War I. And place Elon Musk in charge of government efficiency. Well, it certainly should be a lot more efficient. And less corrupt. Elon can just read the Grace Commission Report from the 1980s, which found that fully 1/3 of all government spending is total waste. Ronald Reagan, the angry tax cutter and big gubmint opponent, was too busy taxing Social Security benefits, and granting amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants to take note of that. Will RFK, Jr. get a plumb position in the new Trump administration? They’ve already kind of poo-pooed the notion that he would be HHS Secretary. He’d be great as Attorney General, like his father. What position will Tulsi Gabbard get? Vivek Ramaswamy? How about Rand Paul for Secretary of Defense? Or Secretary of State?

I don’t have much confidence that Trump will be any different the second time around. If your spouse lied and cheated on you consistently, and you got divorced, would you expect something better if you were remarried? There are already rumblings regarding a place for Mike Pompeo. Pompeo represents all that’s wrong with Washington, D.C. A neocon warmonger, former head of the CIA. Will Trump’s loyalists claim he was “fooled” once again? Fool me once, you don’t get fooled, to quote the illustrious Dubya Bush, renowned supporter of Countess Cackula. But I think it will be harder for Trumpenstein to be quite so blatant about hiring the Swamp this time, while claiming he’s draining it. The 4D chess excuse should be thoroughly worn out. I know all about Peter Thiel, but J.D. Vance certainly seems persuasive, and unlike his appointees in Trumpenstein I, he says all the right things.

Of course I’m skeptical. Beyond skeptical. I would be incredulous if Trump deported millions of illegals, as he has promised. Remember, he deported fewer illegals than Barack Obama himself, during the Trumpenstein I era. While claiming he had the “strongest border ever.” Along with the “greatest economy ever.” Yes, prices were lower, and things were more entertaining, but do people really believe that? The ones without TDS, I mean. The ones with TDS would believe claims that inflation was 10 zillion percent during the Trump years, and that the Giant Orange Man with the micro orange penis had his “White Supremacist” henchmen arbitrarily executing Black jaywalkers. They honestly think that Trump is going to “go after” his enemies. I think it’s 50/50 whether he pardons the J6ers or Hunter Biden first. I doubt that he’ll even fire Christopher Wray, whom of course he appointed. That would be one of the first things an honest reformer would do. And then abolish the FBI.

Then abolish the CIA, DIA, and NSA. And the IRS. Without the income tax, why would you need them? Get rid of the Department of Education, and the Department of Energy. FEMA? I think they demonstrated quite clearly just how crucial they were as they blocked supplies and rescues in the wake of Hurricane Helene. I’m giddy just thinking about it. Sure, with all those government workers thrown onto the unemployment rolls, most of them probably unable to perform a real job in the private sector, the number of job seekers would increase significantly. But all the illegals gone would more than offset that. Now that would be poetic justice; seeing rude and incompetent government representatives mowing lawns and landscaping. No more three hour lunch breaks. No more lucrative pensions to arrogant bureaucrats whose “skills” consisted of hanging up on, or pointlessly rerouting phone callers.

I hope RFK, Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard hold Trump’s feet to the fire. Of course, that’s assuming they are any more legitimate than Trumpenstein. For all we know, Trump could name Rabbi Shmuley as Attorney General, instead of Kennedy. It would be another one of his classic 4D moves. Seriously, I don’t discount anything. If Trump deports millions, eliminates taxes on Social Security, and ends the war in Ukraine, do we really care who or what powers are behind him? Now, I hardly expect him to do that, but then I didn’t expect him to win the presidency in a landslide, either. A landslide selection? Be watching the skies. Trump’s first few appointees will set the tone. If they are genuine outsiders, then you know Trumpenstein II may be a different sort of production. Fake reform? A fake draining of the Swamp? I said I thought the best we could hope for was to be entertained. So pop the popcorn.